Love and War: Chapter 14

Doing the right thing was supposed to make you feel good, and yet Alek felt the complete opposite. He took his conflicted feelings back to his room, and collapsed on his bed soon after entering the warzone that now occupied his stateroom.

"What happened to your room?" Deryn asked from behind him as she surveyed their wild surroundings. The fabricated wooden door shut with a loud and resolute click, and Alek sat bolt upright. He didn't even see Deryn come in which was strange because lately he had been noticing even the tiniest things she did.

"Nothing," Alek said, he was too consumed with his thoughts to care about the mess at the moment.

Alek closed his eyes and felt the weight shift on his bed before Deryn said, "Doesn't look like nothing." Alek opened his eyes and saw the girl sitting next to him a mere inch away. Rather uneasily, Alek realized that he didn't quite trust himself to be alone with her. He was alone in his room with a girl he happened to like very much; she was resting conveniently on his bed, and he was a fifteen year old boy. So many troublesome events could take place. But fortunately, he didn't have the audacity to turn his thoughts into actions. No use complicating things. "Have you ever been in love?" Deryn asked suddenly.

"What?" Alek struggled to find a reply; he was caught completely off guard. This question was the last thing he expected to come out of her mouth. Well, he wasn't about to tell her that he was in love with her (a realization he was forced to accept), that's for sure. He'd rather not make a dummkopf out of himself and earn a good slap from his friend. Besides, he was working to remedy his emotional state. If falling in love was so easy, then certainly falling out of love wouldn't be so difficult. "Um, no," he said hesitantly and stared down at the scratch marks that had been worn into the floor. The lie simply lingered in the air. So he diverted the question. "Have you ever been in love?"

Then it was Deryn's turn to foolishly blush. "Yes," she said awkwardly and rubbed the back of her head.

"Really?" Alek's body stiffened. He certainly wasn't expecting that answer, and truthfully, he didn't like her answer. It was probably some boy back in Scotland; he didn't even know the guy and he already hated him. "What is he like?" Alek asked, hoping his tone didn't give away his frustration. Alek was jealous, he knew, and it wasn't a particularly pleasant emotion. It festered. "Well?" Alek pushed after she didn't respond. "Handsome?"

"Yeah," she replied.

"Yeah?" Alek really hated him now. "Is he clever?"

Deryn shrugged, "Yes, most of the time." Her entire face was red by now and Alek fought to keep his anger under control.

"You must really like him, if you are blushing that hard," Alek's voice was uneasy and bitter, he instantly regretted the statement.

"I…we…it's not like…um….but we aren't together. Never were, never could be," she said sadly. A sense of relief washed over Alek not that he could be with her either. But still, if he couldn't have her then nobody could. It was only fair.

"Are you smiling?" Deryn barked.

Alek hadn't realized it, but he was indeed smiling and he almost felt ashamed for being so envious and hateful. Almost. "I'm sorry," he said, straightening his face, "I didn't mean to smile at your misery." A grin inadvertently escaped his lips, and Deryn punched him in the shoulder. "Sorry."

"Aye, I don't think he ever felt the same anyway," she said elusively.

"Then he's an idiot," Alek harshly replied which elicited a small smile from Deryn—a brilliant victory.

"I guess the only reason I asked is because I can't help but wonder if we did the right thing—trying to break up the boffin and count."

Hearing this only added to Alek's mixed emotions. "I can't say anymore. I want to say yes, this morning I would have. But there is this little voice at the back of my head that keeps telling me otherwise and making me feel bad."

"That's your conscience, Alek." Deryn laughed, "I guess that answers my question."

Alek moaned, that wasn't the reply he wanted to hear. "This is all Volger's fault. If he had told me that he felt that way in the first place, then this wouldn't have happened. He forced our hand." Of course, saying that did not mean Alek believed it. And it certainly did not ease his so called guilt. "No," Alek sighed. "Perhaps we did make a mistake. Are we terrible people?"

"Wicked," Bovril said.

Deryn frowned, "I wouldn't say 'terrible,' we meant well, right?"

"I
think," Alek winced. "Either way, we have to find a way to repair the damage."

"Without letting them know it was us who split them up in the first place of course."

Alek raised his eyebrows, he hadn't thought of that. If they found out, it certainly would not end well for the two friends. It would probably be better if Volger and Dr. Barlow sdidn't know that little detail. "Very well."

"Breaking hearts is a lot easier than mending them though."

"You think we broke their hearts?" Alek was almost afraid to hear the response; he would be pretty upset if he and Deryn were together and then they broke up.

"Well we have to take into consideration that Volger seems to be missing that organ," Deryn joked. But it didn't make Alek feel any better. One thing was for sure, they had to do something to fix this.